Have you ever really fancied a guy and at some point on the first few dates ended up having sex?
Have you then found yourself waiting for his text or call and you struggle to think of anything else but him?
Well, we've all been there and the trouble with sex is that as soon as it happens we become emotionally attached and those rose tinted specs are fixed firmly in place!
Does this story ring any bells? It's taken from my book above.
Gloria had been dating online recently and had been out with two guys. One was named Jason and the other Philip.
She and Jason hit it off right away as she put it. She came to me seeking advise and described her first date with him. Gloria said they went to dinner and had some drinks. They laughed all night and teased each other quite a bit. The banter was easy and jovial and they didn't talk about anything too serious. She said she had a blast because it was all just so light and comfortable.
At the end of the night, Jason didn't want to go home yet because he said he was having such a great time he didn't want to leave. Neither did Gloria so she invited him over for a night cap and well, yep, they ended up in bed and having sex.
Jason said he would like to see her again the following weekend and they texted a few times during the week. When the weekend approached, Jason said he forgot he had to help a friend paint his new kitchen and free porno sites couldn't meet up.
Problem was, that happened quite a few times thereafter and the only times that she saw Jason over the next few weeks was when she would go over to his house for a movie and, you may have guessed itsex.
She really liked Jason she said and was disappointed that he was too busy to go out. She also wished he would call a bit more often but hey, people get busy right? So she hung on to the hope that he'd contact her and want to be with her but then he didn't call for 10 days straight so one night when she was feeling upset she sent him a text asking what had happened and if they were still on and a while later he replied Sorry babe, been meaning to call you but it's been so busy. You're a great girl but I think it's best if we just stay friends.'
Well... I have heard this story time and time again. Gloria became so attached to Jason because she slept with him before she really knew him. And the hard truth is that Jason either didn't want a relationship right now or he didn't feel strongly enough for Gloria to start a relationship with her, but yes, he was happy to take the sex on offer and have a good time while it lasted.
So, if you want to safeguard your emotions in a new relationship, WAIT until you can really get to know a guy before having sex. And remember:
If he likes you, he will wait. If he doesn't want to wait, he's probably not that into you.
I am sure that there is an exception out there but I haven't met him. I have NEVER in my life met a man that was adult sex tubes actually interested in me but wasn't willing to wait to have sex, EVER.
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